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The event is organized by New York Jacks, a group that hosts regular meetings for men to gather in relative public to do something nearly every man does in relative private. They take over Paddles on Tuesdays, and naked Sundays host a meeting on the third floor of a building on And 38th Street. I first attended a New York Jacks meeting with a friend on a Tuesday a few weeks ago.

Why Some Guys Like Jerking Off Together

What if we see someone we know? As in every fetish community, the fear of being outed as a participant in something deemed weird or pervy keeps many people, including bators, in off closet about their interests. All things considered, mutual masturbation is pretty tame — masturbation is something most people already do, albeit alone — but the popular notion of masturbation as somehow funny moment of nudes failed sex, the purview of lonely internet trolls, leads many would-be avid mutual masturbators to keep their sexual cards close to their chests.

Among men who have sex with men, mutual masturbation is often seen as sex-adjacent, rather than a sex act in its own right.

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Now we get together jerking few months — less regularly than a book club but more often than you see your best friend from college who lives in Washington Heights — hang out, and masturbate. Sometimes we get a little stoned, sometimes girls watch porn; afterward we usually catch up about friends or jobs or other plans. In an effort to better understand the appeal of mutual masturbation and the community that seeks it, I went looking for other men for whom jerking off together is not merely sex-adjacent, but an important part of a balanced sex life.

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The New York Jacks meetup was not my first experience with public group sex. Not wanting to overcommit, I paid the single nude men porn stars fee and resolved to keep an open mind about investing in my jerk-off future.

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On the other side of the final door, a large older man wearing a jockstrap and sneakers afraid our tickets and asked whether it was our first time. With the chipper, big-brother gentleness of a sophomore at freshman orientation, he pointed us around the space.